The complete Toi et Moi engagement ring guide

A firm contender for the most romantic style of engagement ring, the symbolism of the Toi et Moi ring (or Moi et Toi as they're also known) is plain for all to see. Two gemstones. One representing you. One representing your soulmate.

This beautiful design style is enjoying a revival which looks to continue well into 2022 and beyond. If you're interested in a toi et moi engagement ring you'll find all the information you need to know right here in our easy guide.

toi et moi engagement ring

Why choose a Toi et Moi engagement ring?

We can't really think of anything more romantic when it comes to ring design. The name itself is literally translated as 'me and you ring' from French!

A Toi et Moi ring is characterised by two gemstones touching, or sitting close to each other. This arrangement represents you and your partner joining together. Two souls becoming one, if you will.

Traditionally the two gemstones would be of similar style and cut, but modern designers are really pushing their creativity and pairing many different combinations. 

Toi et Moi engagement ring with diamond and pearl
Gemstones are only one of many design options available...


And that's one of the best things about choosing a Toi et Moi style for your  engagement ring. The possibilities for designs are almost limitless and if you choose to design your own bespoke engagement ring then you can really stretch your creative muscles.

The rich history of Toi et Moi engagement rings

The origins of the toi et moi ring aren't well known, but one of the first (and most famous) mentions comes from Napoleon Bonaparte. Whilst he was still a young general making a name for himself in 1796, he proposed to Josephine de Beauharnais with an exceptionally beautiful toi et moi engagement ring. 

Napoleon Bonaparte & Josephine Moi Et Toi Ring
Josephine de Beauharnais' engagement ring, as photographed for it's auction in 2013


The ring featured two matching pear cuts, one diamond and one sapphire. Both stones weighed around 1ct and were mounted on a relatively thin (at least by today's standards) gold band.

Napoleon's choice of spouse didn't please his family and wider society, given that Josephine was 6 years his elder with 2 children from a previous marriage. 

However, in true toi et moifashion, love prevailed and the couple went ahead and got married anyway.

And unlike their love (which ended with their divorce in 1810) the ring endured, being sold at auction in 2013 for just under $1 million.

Celebrity Toi et Moi engagement rings 

Toi et Moi engagement rings aren't just confined to the history books either, many current celebrities are enjoying the unique aesthetic of these rings.

Emily Ratajkowski

Perhaps the most famous example is Emily Ratajkowski, who designed her bespoke ring with her now husband Sebastian Bear-Mcclard.

Emily Ratajkowski moi et toi engagement ring
Emily Ratajkowski's engagement ring, as seen on @emrata


The couple chose to pair a 2ct princess cut diamond alongside a 3ct pear shaped diamond, set together with a unique 18ct gold band to create something truly one of a kind.

From interviews you can tell the couple loved the process of designing their own ring, with Sebastian's experience producing the Adam Sandler movie Uncut Gems definitely coming in handy!

Ariana Grande

Ariana Grande's engagement ring design features a beautiful 5ct oval cut diamond paired with a pearl. 

Ariana Grande's toi et moi engagement ring as seen on @arianagrande


Now on the face of it a pearl might be considered an odd pairing choice for a diamond, however this one is rather special. The pearl was originally part of her late grandfather's tie clip before being mounted onto her engagement ring. 

This adoringly sentimental choice is why we love toi et moi rings so much. They allow you to pair the classic with the modern and look forward whilst still retaining part of history.

Jackie Kennedy

Not quite as modern as the first two examples, but any guide on Toi et Moi engagement rings would be incomplete without talking about Jackie Kennedy's ring. 

jackie kennedy moi et toi engagement ring
Jackie Kennedy's toi et moi ring, pairing diamonds with emerald


Jackie's ring comprises of a 2.84-carat emerald-cut emerald and a 2.88-carat emerald-cut diamond with a number of additional diamonds adorning the band.

Later on in life, she took it on herself to redesign the ring, changing the band diamonds from baguette cuts to marquese. 

The ring is now on display in the John F. Kennedy Presidential Library and Museum in Boston.

Designing your own Toi et Moi engagement ring

Designing your own ring can be an extremely rewarding process, and the reaction you get when you pop the question will be exceptional! Here's a couple of tips we have for you.

Decide which gemstones you'll be pairing together

The combination of gemstones you choose can be made for aesthetic or symbolic reasons.

Perhaps you like the pairing of passionate rubies and eternal diamonds. Or maybe you like the striking design of paired sapphires.

Whichever your preference, this is arguably the most important element of your design, so take your time deciding this one.

Consider repurposing heirlooms

Taking a page out of Ariana Grande's book, many people are choosing to reset jewellery they already own into their Toi et Moi ring.

Perhaps you've been given an engagement ring previously owned by a loved one, or you jewellery from both sides of the family you want to symbolically bring together. The possibilities really are endless.

Don't be afraid to push the boundaries

As you can see, the range of choices you have with a Toi et Moi engagement ring is almost limitless, so above all else, embrace the creativity.

Choose an outlandish band design, offset your gemstones to make unique effects, pair unconventional gemstones or other pieces. 

Keep these things in mind, and we're sure you'll have a ring that you treasure forever.

Want to talk about your dream Toi et Moi ring?

We love designing Toi et Moi rings, so we recommend getting in touch and speaking to our designers about how we can make your dream ring into a reality.


Further reading


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At Nightingale we love their distinctive aesthetic and their ethical origins and they frequently appear in our ethical engagement rings.

If you'd like to learn more about these beautiful gemstones then read our full guide now! 

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Ethical rubies - Everything you need to know

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Often referred to as the ‘King of precious stones’ they make a perfect gemstone for engagement rings due to their beauty, hardness and symbology, often conjuring feelings of passion, love and loyalty.

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A favourite of the Egyptian Queen Cleopatra, emeralds have been mined since at least 300BC, leaving their mark on history whilst still being one of the most sought after gems of modern times.

Today we’re going to help you get familiar with these luscious gemstones as well as giving you some practical tips if you’re looking to use them in your engagement ring.

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At Nightingale we’re all about ethical diamonds. And as far as we’re concerned, they should be the minimum standard when making jewellery. 

Unfortunately, that’s not the case. It took a lot of time and effort for us to find sustainable diamond suppliers for our ethical engagement rings and we'd rather you didn’t have to go through the same trouble.

So we’re going to lay out all the knowledge we have to help you find a truly ethical diamond.

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The Valentine's Day engagement ring guide

One of our favourite times of year is nearly upon us. Valentine’s Day!

Being the most popular engagement date of the year, we naturally get a lot of questions from customers. So we thought why not put everything we know into a handy engagement ring guide for Valentine’s Day 2022!

Here’s what we’ll cover...

  • Popular engagement ring styles for 2022
  • Tips for finding the perfect ring
  • Advice on making the most of your budget

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White gold v Platinum - Which is best for engagement rings?

White gold and platinum can give a similar aesthetic to your engagement ring, but there are some important differences between the two metals which can be important when choosing between them.

Both are very popular choices for engagement rings, so we thought it best to give you a simple guide to help you decide.

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Here's 6 tips to help you get a ring that's perfect for you and your budget.

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Choosing the right metal for your bespoke ring

Choosing the right metal for your bespoke engagement ring is one of the most important choices you can make when creating a ring. The right material sets the overall style of your ring and if done correctly, complements your choice of gemstone and mount.

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The Ethical Diamond Ring Buying Guide - 2022 Edition

It seems like so many industries are making great sustainability strides, but the jewellery trade continues to drag it's heels. Confusing and ineffective 'green' schemes. A lack of transparency in the origins of diamonds and other materials.

It all combines to make buying ethically a minefield, but at Nightingale, we're doing our best to make it as simple and transparent as possible.

So whether you want to buy ethical diamond jewellery from us, or somebody else, this guide will give you the information you need, all the key questions you need to ask and the best possible chance of buying beautiful jewellery from somewhere that is making a positive difference in the world.

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Diamond buying guide

There are many beautiful gemstones that have been created by nature and mined from the earth but the most regal of them all is the diamond. The mysterious diamond is the most popular gemstone of them all and the one that has the most myths and legends associated with it.

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Wondering what exactly a lab grown diamond is and why they're a perfect ethical alternative to mined diamonds? Find out here...

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