guidance

The complete Toi et Moi engagement ring guide

A firm contender for the most romantic style of engagement ring, the symbolism of the Toi et Moi ring (or Moi et Toi as they're also known) is plain for all to see. Two gemstones. One representing you. One representing your soulmate.

This beautiful design style is enjoying a revival which looks to continue well into 2022 and beyond. If you're interested in a toi et moi engagement ring you'll find all the information you need to know right here in our easy guide.

toi et moi engagement ring

Why choose a Toi et Moi engagement ring?

We can't really think of anything more romantic when it comes to ring design. The name itself is literally translated as 'me and you ring' from French!

A Toi et Moi ring is characterised by two gemstones touching, or sitting close to each other. This arrangement represents you and your partner joining together. Two souls becoming one, if you will.

Traditionally the two gemstones would be of similar style and cut, but modern designers are really pushing their creativity and pairing many different combinations. 

Toi et Moi engagement ring with diamond and pearl
Gemstones are only one of many design options available...

 

And that's one of the best things about choosing a Toi et Moi style for your  engagement ring. The possibilities for designs are almost limitless and if you choose to design your own bespoke engagement ring then you can really stretch your creative muscles.

The rich history of Toi et Moi engagement rings

The origins of the toi et moi ring aren't well known, but one of the first (and most famous) mentions comes from Napoleon Bonaparte. Whilst he was still a young general making a name for himself in 1796, he proposed to Josephine de Beauharnais with an exceptionally beautiful toi et moi engagement ring. 

Napoleon Bonaparte & Josephine Moi Et Toi Ring
Josephine de Beauharnais' engagement ring, as photographed for it's auction in 2013

 

The ring featured two matching pear cuts, one diamond and one sapphire. Both stones weighed around 1ct and were mounted on a relatively thin (at least by today's standards) gold band.

Napoleon's choice of spouse didn't please his family and wider society, given that Josephine was 6 years his elder with 2 children from a previous marriage. 

However, in true toi et moifashion, love prevailed and the couple went ahead and got married anyway.

And unlike their love (which ended with their divorce in 1810) the ring endured, being sold at auction in 2013 for just under $1 million.

Celebrity Toi et Moi engagement rings 

Toi et Moi engagement rings aren't just confined to the history books either, many current celebrities are enjoying the unique aesthetic of these rings.

Emily Ratajkowski

Perhaps the most famous example is Emily Ratajkowski, who designed her bespoke ring with her now husband Sebastian Bear-Mcclard.

Emily Ratajkowski moi et toi engagement ring
Emily Ratajkowski's engagement ring, as seen on @emrata

 

The couple chose to pair a 2ct princess cut diamond alongside a 3ct pear shaped diamond, set together with a unique 18ct gold band to create something truly one of a kind.

From interviews you can tell the couple loved the process of designing their own ring, with Sebastian's experience producing the Adam Sandler movie Uncut Gems definitely coming in handy!

Ariana Grande

Ariana Grande's engagement ring design features a beautiful 5ct oval cut diamond paired with a pearl. 

Ariana-grande-toi-et-moi-engagement-ring
Ariana Grande's toi et moi engagement ring as seen on @arianagrande

 

Now on the face of it a pearl might be considered an odd pairing choice for a diamond, however this one is rather special. The pearl was originally part of her late grandfather's tie clip before being mounted onto her engagement ring. 

This adoringly sentimental choice is why we love toi et moi rings so much. They allow you to pair the classic with the modern and look forward whilst still retaining part of history.

Jackie Kennedy

Not quite as modern as the first two examples, but any guide on Toi et Moi engagement rings would be incomplete without talking about Jackie Kennedy's ring. 

jackie kennedy moi et toi engagement ring
Jackie Kennedy's toi et moi ring, pairing diamonds with emerald

 

Jackie's ring comprises of a 2.84-carat emerald-cut emerald and a 2.88-carat emerald-cut diamond with a number of additional diamonds adorning the band.

Later on in life, she took it on herself to redesign the ring, changing the band diamonds from baguette cuts to marquese. 

The ring is now on display in the John F. Kennedy Presidential Library and Museum in Boston.

Designing your own Toi et Moi engagement ring

Designing your own ring can be an extremely rewarding process, and the reaction you get when you pop the question will be exceptional! Here's a couple of tips we have for you.

Decide which gemstones you'll be pairing together

The combination of gemstones you choose can be made for aesthetic or symbolic reasons.

Perhaps you like the pairing of passionate rubies and eternal diamonds. Or maybe you like the striking design of paired sapphires.

Whichever your preference, this is arguably the most important element of your design, so take your time deciding this one.

Consider repurposing heirlooms

Taking a page out of Ariana Grande's book, many people are choosing to reset jewellery they already own into their Toi et Moi ring.

Perhaps you've been given an engagement ring previously owned by a loved one, or you jewellery from both sides of the family you want to symbolically bring together. The possibilities really are endless.

Don't be afraid to push the boundaries

As you can see, the range of choices you have with a Toi et Moi engagement ring is almost limitless, so above all else, embrace the creativity.

Choose an outlandish band design, offset your gemstones to make unique effects, pair unconventional gemstones or other pieces. 

Keep these things in mind, and we're sure you'll have a ring that you treasure forever.

Want to talk about your dream Toi et Moi ring?

We love designing Toi et Moi rings, so we recommend getting in touch and speaking to our designers about how we can make your dream ring into a reality.

 

Further reading

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